Rocket Boy…




We’re going to the Zoo, you can come toooooo…


So we went to Chessington World of Adventures and having brought the ticket on an independent website, (in a rush) we planned to go yesterday. And boy what a day, it rained for what felt like absolutely hours and hours, we were soaked and my youngest was grouchy (I don’t blame him). I went on the Vampire ride that I last went on twenty years ago and nearly wet myself at how fast it now felt compared to back when I was younger, and all in all the only moment of slight relief to an otherwise soggy stinky day (I say stinky because due to the wetness the toilets were) was the promise that if there is over an hour of rain on a prebooked ticket you get free entry back into the park on another day, they must realise what an absolute downer the rain can be to their theme park.

So having thought all is not lost, as wet as a drowned rat I approach Customer Services …. ✔️ Rain for over an hour ✔️Prebooked tickets ✖️ Unfortunately not on their website ….. dang dang dang …

#unluckiest person alive but we did enjoy the animals ❤️

Perfectly (un)done …


Ok, I admit I sometimes don’t parent as much as I should but half the time that’s because I’m in total shock over my unconventional fight for a family life that I’ve had to lead and constantly feel detached from the family I made as a consequence of discovering why the fight was real and hard.

Having not grown up in a local situation being forced into one at an early age and trying to be part of one for the majority of my life has definitely highlighted the fact I’ve been in the wrong place for the most of it. Now that wouldn’t ordinarily be an issue but I felt that after all these years at least my family would #belong. Having started off at the local nursery and then through to the rest of the schools I was quite shocked by the fact that actually nothing seems to stick with them, the friends they do have certainly my son are not great and my daughter seems to be stuck between two local groups much the same as I was and so all these years later I am starting to wonder whether I’m failing my children by leaving them in a Local Bubble or whether society is failing our children having created the Local Bubble in the first instance.

And I’ve looked at myself for years and years wondering whether in fact it is me., and now they don’t fit in I’m starting to wonder if it is them but considering they haven’t done anything wrong yet then I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever your skin, wherever you come from infiltrating the groups that have formed in the U.K. is useless as any attempt at penetrating them is pushed back and a big wall is built up further for the next generation.

And so, what do you do with your hormonal fused teenagers that are not soaking in their local environment, do you thrust them out into it and hope they swim or do you remove them as you remind yourself of the 40 years of sinking you yourself have just been through?

See it’s quite easy to punish yourself over not fitting in and I did that too the point that I tried so hard to fit in, in the end I was so far away from my own personality that I stuck out like a sore thumb and even trying to be like them was so alien that they sussed me out straight away and I was brushed off every time leaving me a fairly lonely teenager through to adulthood and even now.

Or do I explain to them that we have a massive issue with local people and that they shouldn’t get involved and design their life for a future of perhaps not fitting in and being as isolated as I was or do I knowing full well how these people work leave it for them to struggle through. Now I’m sure if it hadn’t taken me 40 odd years to get out of the woods, leaving them to their own devices would of been the better option and perhaps I’d never have experienced how thick the woods is but having now seen how prepared these people are at manipulating situations to make you look bad, I’ve become an expert and already watching them in action with my son, I wonder what to do.

Now he’s probably no angel and I get that but he has not been raised to be anything but a nice kid. Now I’m not sure what these boys get up to in their home life but some of them do appear to come from quite well off families yet act like absolute animals and this is rubbing off on my son who spends most of his time grunting and stuck to the computer like it’s his life line and the rubbish that is being put on this computer by his friends sets me reeling everytime I go in his room, but anxious not to get too meddled in his life I wonder how the best way forward would be I mean I cannot isolate him at this age as much as I’d like to and I’d hope that he would manage to work it out for himself but teenagers don’t they just think what they are surrounded by is normal however on reading the chat thread they are on I can see with adult eyes how extremely abnormal it is and whilst my knee jerk reaction would be to pull him out of Secondary School which is quite frankly the worse place in this country, I fear to do so would create more issues than leaving him there for the last year of his schooling in the hope that he actually survives it.

I’d love to see him see what they are doing to him but as a child your capability to assess others motives is based upon your own character. I’d never dream of doing what my old friends did to me to anyone else so I never believed they were capable of doing what they were doing and how horrendously calculated it was and he’d be exactly the same as me when it came to it as he is my son.

And no doubt having got away with it for so long with me, why wouldn’t they start all over again, I mean they did with my daughter but she could see it coming a mile off … so why can’t he?

Why can’t he see how he is being encouraged by these kids? Why can’t he break away from it and concentrate on his future ? What is it I need to do to break this heinous cycle. Why does it leave me in a state of paralysis because I can see it come and so why can’t I duck. Do I have to put up with watching my children’s lives being eaten alive by these people for another 40 years ? Why aren’t we doing something in this country to get into the local areas and break it up ?

What is this about?

Teamsport #teamsportfun


Today we went Go karting at a fab new place just down the road and whilst it wasn’t too bad price wise it’s always the refreshments that get you, I’m sure if these places charged less they’d sell more and everyone would be happy.

Anyway, that didn’t override the fact that the place was so well organised and all the kids had a fab time.

Go again – you bet !


Saddest time ever is saying“Goodbye”..

So our neighbour passed away last week and it made me revisit our mortality and realise that birth and death have so much in common.  When you are born everyone is waiting and when you are dying everyone is also waiting in a really weird limbo way and then after each event you have an influx of visitors and then after a while it all dies down.  It was weird because the house next door during all this became a busy house whereas before not so, and it kind of got me thinking how as a nation we don’t see more of each other when we are able to and then in the last few days try and grasp as much time as we can with those who are dying and actually we have sort of got it all wrong.

Believe me, this is not one of those preachy posts as I’m as guilty as everyone for neglecting people but I guess that comes with trying hard to carve out our own lives, in doing so, we tend to forget the older generation did just the same and boy isn’t it a hard old life.

The lady was a Head Teacher and I thought today about all those children she taught and all those hours she put into working and all the things she must of done right and all the things that we all as humans do wrong and I thought about how forgotten we all are in a minute especially if your impact on this life hasn’t been so big and then I thought about my own life and how quickly it could slip away without really not having much of a purpose and do you know what when you think of that it dawns on you that perhaps there is something out there and perhaps one day hopefully before you pass away you find that purpose.  It must be very distressing not to find your purpose and almost feel like you’ve not even existed your whole life and so today the funeral I started to ground my thoughts a bit more on who I’d quite like to be and also establish what’s held me back in achieving who I am.

I guessed that in order to have a purpose you have to be popular, well that’s definitely not me, I mean I haven’t really collected many friends since I’ve been here but the one or two that I have are far better than many.  My best friend is Swiss and my old English friends I hardly have anything in common with these days so I’m obviously on a natural cleansing project, I guess I just hope it happens quickly so I can change things before I go otherwise it would be a very small ceremony and whilst I never really was one to think before about having the big wedding I certainly want to make sure I have a good send off.

After all, that’s what it’s all about and having followed a very unconventional path I do sometimes feel a bit robbed even to the point of sadness that my family were also robbed of my big day.  I know it just works like that sometimes but you know you are only here once and it’s not like you can get all your time back at any stage and so now I have to ensure my kids don’t get robbed of the usual path and end up all hickly pickly like me …

And the send off was beautiful for the lady next door and the flowers even more so but the biggest thing I got from it was she wasn’t here to be a part of it and that is the saddest thing about life … it’s always when it’s too late that people come together ❤️

The most besutiful flowers were the “Forget-me-nots” and that’s the point we should also remember to not forget people when they are alive. That’s the most upsetting thing is how capable we are as humans to put a low value on someone else’s life and then I think of all those who have left my life and the past and wonder what they are up to now and hoping even if they did knock the stuffing out of my life that there own is living up to their expectations because to try and disrupt anyone else’s life to the extent they did mine makes me feel sad about death because we are all the same and we really are here only once ❤️

Fossils Fossils and more Fossils ..

On the third day we drove down to Lyme Regis and found out that they were having fireworks that evening so decided to pop into the Tourist Information Shop, Fiona was an absolute pleasure and sent us off to Newlands Holiday Park where we rented a caravan.  I settled the kids in with their electricity and a couple of them went off for a swim whilst I took a stroll down the amazingly big hill to the beach of Charmouth and wow I didn’t even know beaches as beautiful as this existed in the U.K. and the Fossil Centre was great, walking back I actually felt for the first time in a while I had a whole new focus – Yep I was determined to fjnd myself a fossil and after a few cracks of a few stones I did I found a worm!

That evening we went down to the beautiful harbour and ate a gorgeous meal in the Pilot Boat and then watched the glorious fireworks the place was alive and so were we..

Leaving the next day I wanted to head down further to see whatelse the U.K. had on offer but decided that as we have a big holiday booked this year that we would save the rest for next year and headed home we did.

Within minutes of arriving home and whilst I emptied the boot all the kids were back on their respective hobbies, I sighed but actually you know what it’s ok if they want to use their electronics as long as it’s balanced out with a bit of the real world as well and had to be honest I quite enjoyed the peace ❤️


What to do with those kids over the long hot summer.. and how to get them off #fortnight

Waaahaaaa so I managed through a lot of hard work pre August to secure the summer holidays off with my kids ❤️ It’s the one time of year I get to spend sometime with them and catch up, only half the time they can’t even these days be bothered to chat to me. What with the two teenagers and the nine year old they just want to do their own thing, computers, screens, netflix and the dreaded fortnight I knew I was going to have my work cut out.

So I grab a cheap tent from Trespass (so cheap6EC7125F-6409-44FD-956E-DB79AEFF6870C6915092-B5D9-490B-B877-1EE744B1C00DA8E20D02-0698-4CD9-A8EE-E5686CC3AD10285B88E7-2CF8-41AD-B5DE-F6017CCF93621EDA0E9B-0BE1-4ABB-8DD7-7DB5A956A7D7004EDFC6-363A-4C16-A2F5-C141C64FCFC89ABFA54D-1DC3-4AF3-A6E2-703C046C58688AA93874-9F63-4A96-9591-4695426BD761 by the first night the zip to the door had broken) and we head off with a bootfull, no iPads and no electricity into the deep and beautiful Jurassic coastline – the first stop  being right next to Durdles Door. We pitch up and walk down to the Door and the beautiful photos give justice to what our eyes and heart saw.  We had beans and a couple of sausages round our little one hob camping stove and then an early night.

Being one to usually like my sleep however my double blow up bed kept deflating so all through the night there I was pumping it up! This went on for the second night and not being a spring chicken my lack of sleep started to wear on my otherwise soft temperment.

The campsite was great but even by the end of the second day I was desperate for a bit of electricity myself, my son having blown the fuse on my car cigarette lighter meant we didn’t have any so off me and my eldest son went to see if we could find an electric hookup – over to the campervan hookups we drove and parked up and out came the wire, discreetly I thought but quickly finding out how good security was, it was not two seconds into our adventure that Jim the security guard whizzed up and caught us in the act.  Explaining my plight being that my phone was out of charge and I couldn’t upload my beautiful snaps to my instagram (incidentally trigggers (note the three g’s) please follow .. he informed us that we could just pop to reception and they charge them for us !

With fully loaded phones everyone seemed to feel a bit better and we woke the next day and walked over to Lulworth Cove (can understand why this place is part of the World Heritage Site) and walked over that hill we did, down to the cove.   Sitting on the beach the dreaded realisation dawned on us all that we had to walk back so having a quick energy boost from an ice cream from one of the shops (salted caramel and lemon sorbet for me) we made our hike back.

So all in all  with a quickly whipped up cheese and rolls picnic of sorts we stayed on the beach until the early evening sneaking off for fish and chips from the local chippy for our evening meal, the one hob stove being made redundant.

Was a great choice of locations and a great spot to do a bit of people watching especially those who despite seeing all the steps had been damaged in a cliff slide and no doubt read the warning about keeping out nevertheless still hopped over and broke the rules !

So if you are stuck for what to do with your own kids, go camping ❤️